Transform Ordinary Questions into Extraordinary Conversations
Master the art of asking questions that truly connect
Start Transforming Questions (Free!)Most of us long for deeper connections but lack the tools to create them. We settle for surface-level exchanges—"How was your day?" "Fine." "Busy?" "Yeah."—when what we really crave are conversations that matter.
The difference between an ordinary question and an extraordinary one isn't complexity—it's intentionality.
ORDINARY: "How was your weekend?"
EXTRAORDINARY: "What energized you most this weekend?"
Same topic, completely different conversation. One invites autopilot answers; the other sparks genuine sharing.
ConvoUpgrade teaches you the frameworks and techniques used by conversation experts, therapists, and coaches to move from superficial to substantive in seconds—not through memorizing scripts, but by understanding what makes questions powerful.
Professor Barbara Fredrickson and her colleagues at UNC Chapel Hill discovered that it takes just a micro-moment to genuinely connect with another person. These moments of "positivity resonance" happen when you:
• Share positive emotions between you and another person—joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love
• Synchronize your biochemistry by looking into their eyes, mirroring body language, and matching vocal tone
• Embrace mutual care that naturally arises between you
Each time we joyfully connect with another person, the pleasure-inducing hormone oxytocin is released into our bloodstream, immediately reducing anxiety and improving concentration and focus. Each social connection also bolsters our cardiovascular, neuroendocrine, and immune systems—the better connections we build, the better we function over time.
The research is clear: When it comes to caring for our wellbeing, there is only one consistent finding across more than thirty years of research—other people matter.
Research by Barbara Fredrickson (2013), Deci & Ryan (2017), Shawn Achor (2010), and Gable et al. (2004) • Framework by The Change Lab, part of the Michelle McQuaid Group
Understand the principles behind extraordinary questions so you can create them on the fly, in any situation
62 real-world scenarios from The Change Lab toolkit: work drinks, coffee breaks, team meetings, Zoom calls, and more—each with ordinary vs. extraordinary question examples
240 powerful words (157 action verbs + 83 positive adjectives) from The Change Lab's research—words scientifically selected to spark positivity resonance and deepen connections. Each word includes 3 example questions.
Instant inspiration! Generate research-backed extraordinary questions from our library with one click—perfect for practice, breaking patterns, or preparing for conversations
Questions designed for specific moments: team meetings, dinner conversations, reconnecting with friends, and more
A structured 4-week journey with daily practices to integrate extraordinary questions into your life naturally and sustainably
Track your insights, save favorite questions, and document conversation wins with timestamped entries. Export/import for safekeeping
No signup required. Works offline. Completely free. Grounded in FlourishTalk's 23,000+ research-backed questions
The Change Lab's proven two-step process for transforming any ordinary question into an extraordinary conversation starter:
What are the questions you typically ask to spark a conversation with others? The ordinary questions you take for granted.
How can you make this question more appreciative? What words might you add, remove, or edit to help someone find the true, the good, and the possible?
By looking for the true, the good, and the possible in other people's lives, we create safer spaces for connection to unfold.
Every extraordinary question makes at least one of these critical shifts:
From CLOSED to OPEN
"Did you have a good day?" → "What moment today felt most like you?"
From GENERIC to SPECIFIC
"How's work?" → "What's energizing you most about your current project?"
From PROBLEM-FOCUSED to STRENGTHS-BASED
"What's stressing you?" → "What's helping you navigate this challenge?"
From SURFACE to REFLECTIVE
"Are you happy?" → "When do you feel most alive?"
Transform any question in four simple steps
Enter the ordinary question you typically ask
Get instant analysis of why it stays surface-level
See 3-5 transformed versions using different frameworks
Understand the principles so you can create your own
Our comprehensive library includes real-world examples for every context:
50+ examples for meetings, 1-on-1s, performance conversations, and team building
50+ examples for partners, kids, family dinners, and difficult conversations
50+ examples for parties, first meetings, reconnecting with friends, and small talk
50+ journaling prompts and self-reflection questions
The Change Lab's comprehensive word banks contain 240 carefully selected words (157 action verbs + 83 positive adjectives) designed to spark positive emotions and create micro-moments of connection. Below is a preview—the full interactive tool contains all words with 3 example questions each:
💡 The complete interactive tool includes all 240 words with 3 example questions each (720 examples total)
ConvoUpgrade combines The Change Lab's proven "Frame It, Flip It" methodology with FlourishTalk's evidence-based frameworks:
• Positivity Resonance (Fredrickson, 2013): Creating micro-moments of connection through shared positive emotions
• Appreciative Inquiry: The secret lies in intentionally choosing questions that spark positive emotions, creating safer spaces for connection to unfold
• PERMA Model (Seligman): Questions that enhance Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment
• VIA Character Strengths: Questions that help people recognize and use their signature strengths
• Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan): In our most satisfying interactions, it is the experiences where we are present, accepting, and supportive of each other that we feel truly connected
Combined with FlourishTalk's library of 23,000+ research-backed questions developed over 20 years at Stellenbosch University's FlourishWell4Life initiative, and The Change Lab's comprehensive word banks of 157 action verbs and 83 positive adjectives (240 words total) designed specifically for transforming ordinary questions into extraordinary conversations.
Leaders, managers, coaches, and consultants who want to facilitate more meaningful conversations
Moms and dads who want to connect more deeply with their children beyond "How was school?"
Teachers and facilitators who want to create engaging classroom discussions
Couples who want to maintain depth and connection in their relationships
Anyone who values authentic connection and wants to deepen their friendships
People who journal or practice self-reflection and want better prompts
Start turning ordinary questions into extraordinary conversations—one question at a time.
Launch ConvoUpgrade ToolCompletely free • No signup required • Works offline
ConvoUpgrade is powered by FlourishTalk, a conversation facilitation platform grounded in over 20 years of positive psychology research at Stellenbosch University. With 23,000+ evidence-based questions across 37 categories, FlourishTalk helps individuals, families, educators, and organizations facilitate meaningful conversations that promote wellbeing, connection, and growth.
Our mission: Transform lives through meaningful conversation, one question at a time.